Hurting....

So the date, race and experience have come and gone. It took a couple days to digest everything before I could relive what exactly happened this past Sunday. While the race couldn’t have gone any worse, I learned a lot about myself and the people that I am surrounded by.  For this, I am grateful.

When you think about the marathon, and the preparation that is involved it is almost comical.  This could by why I am crazy.  Look at it this way – I put in close to 1,400 miles of running over the course of 15-weeks, along with having the lifestyle of a monk,  for a race that should have lasted around two and a half hours.  All of the preparation. All of the long, hot summer runs. All of the workouts that you feel like throwing up during.  They all lead to this one day.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

After the flight on Friday, and an easy day of jogging on Saturday, I found myself alone, in the pitch black sitting outside of the Elite Development tent of the 2010 Chicago Marathon at 6AM on Sunday morning.  After about a half an hour or so of relaxing, I made my way into the tent where I found long time friend and fellow marathon runner Dickson Mercer.   A bit before 7, we headed out for an easy 10-minute jog, did some brief stretching, changed our clothes and headed over to the line.

Here it was.  The moment I had been training for and focusing on for almost a year.  I was fully convinced this was going to be my time – I had done everything I possibly could do to prepare myself to run faster than I ever have.

Unfortunately, this was not my day.

I headed out just under my goal pace of 2:22-2:23 for first couple of miles, and hit the half mark in just over 1:11, already slowing down.  At this point, I had a pretty good idea that I was in trouble, but nothing could have prepared me for what was about to transpire.

Over the next couple of miles, my quads started to stiffen up.  While this was to be expected, this was an overwhelming feeling of discomfort.  Around the 16-17 mile markers, the hamstrings then started to quiver, and spasm.

I knew I was in for it.

The pain you feel during a marathon is unlike any other.  During most shorter races, 5k/10k, if you feel your legs “lock up”, you only have to deal with it for a couple of minutes.  In the marathon, this feeling can hit you at any time, and you could end up running with it for 10-miles.  And the worse thing about it – no matter how hard you try, you can’t control it.

Around the 21-22 mile markers, my hamstrings and inner quads were now convulsing uncontrollably.  With every step, there was a feeling of uncertainty.  Would this be the last step?  Am I going to uncontrollably fall to the ground?  I was now essentially limping my way to the finish line.

At this point I was simply jogging.

At this point it was about survival.

With that, the thought of dropping out was consistently running through my mind.  Obviously this was not my day.  Why not save it?

In 2007 I dropped out of my first attempt at a marathon in Twin Cities.  I stopped at mile 15.  The ride back on the bus to the finish was one of the most depressing moments of my running career.  I never wanted to have that feeling ever again.  This was my motivation to get to the line. No matter how slow it was, if I had to walk the rest of the way, I was getting to the finish.

After stumbling/limping the last miles, it was finally in sight – the finish.  With about 100-meters to go, the cramps were at their worst, almost to the point of seizing up my entire left leg.  I now looked like I was walking on eggshells for the last 100.

I slowly walked through the finish shoot in utter disbelief of what just happened.  After a brief and somewhat choked-up/tearful call with the old man I grabbed my stuff and Malia and I began the trek back to the hotel.  All the while The Rolling Stones “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” was blaring from the speakers at the marathon “after-party”.

Fitting.

As for what is next – I literally have no idea.  I could foresee myself getting back into marathoning right away to get the bad taste out of my mouth, or I could envision running some shorter races for a little while to mix things up a bit.  Either way, I am still going to document my training through this blog (although a name change is probably in the cards).

That said, I would like to thank everyone for their support throughout this experience.  I started this blog as a way to do something constructive in my free time, and to write about something that is obviously close to my heart.  The responses that I have received from friends, family, and complete strangers has been overwhelming.  Although I sometimes feel like I am completely isolated on most of my runs, it is humbling to know that there are actually people out there that care.

I had hoped that by writing I could provide some sort of motivation – be it in running or any other facets of life.  As this blog continues to develop and evolve over time, I hope that it can still be a source of inspiration.

With that, it is time for some good rest and relaxation before it is back to the pavement.

- Craig

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